my cloak of invisibility

We live in a world where we are often defined by what we do, who we are, if we earn an income and on. Basically it is all about what you put into society and if you are not putting into society preferably by earning an income then you must be a drain on society.

Slowly, over time the longer it takes for me to “get better”, “be more functional”, “contribute”, the more invisible I feel. Of course this is not helped by the self talk telling me that I am not worthy, not loveable, not enough so the more invisible I become. Rationally, objectively I know that I am loveable, I am worthy, I am enough, it is tiring though trying to drown out the negative noise to find the good. When I try to tell family or friends how I am feeling they tell me that it is silly to feel that way because of course it isn’t true. I know they are right, it doesn’t however, help to drown out the noise. (more…)

Let’s go cruising …

Recently The Haze family went cruising. It was the first family holiday we had had in four years so there was a lot of expectation. The last holiday was to Disneyland with my extended family and it is quite a bit to top that!

We were heading off on a 12 day South Pacific cruise with Royal Carribean on Voyager of the Seas. We caught the train up to the International Cruise Terminal in Sydney so the excitement started early for the kids.

First Glimpse of Voyager

Once we got to the cruise terminal we went through customs quickly and thanks to my parents being seasoned cruisers and having essentially a frequent flyer status for regular cruisers we were on the ship within half an hour of arriving. Well we all were Mum nearly got left behind because of her new knees she set of the security check, then one of the little hazes’ walked off with her bag which had her seapass in it meaning she couldn’t get on! Dad to the rescue he came up got the bag and Mum joined us all. (more…)

A letter to my husband

Dear Andrew

Today we celebrate 16 years of marriage. Wow, who would have thought we would be still standing.

I am not going to pretend for one second it is wedded bliss every day because frankly that would be a lie. My golly I don’t think for one second either of us thought that we would have wedded bliss every day, but the roller coaster we hopped on no-one could have even predicted that. But we are still here, still riding the ride. (more…)