Some of you might be wondering where have I been from the last few months.  I was writing on a semi regular basis towards the end of last year but then my health got on top of me, then school holidays, then Christmas, New Year and bam here we are three weeks into January. I will do a quick catch up for you and then hopefully write something a little more interesting from next week.

I wrote about the day I became radioactive and all those results were fine. My heart as it turns out is perfect (according to the report!) something that was thrown up was some interesting blood work. This resulted in an iron infusion just before Christmas which sadly hasn’t quite given me the boost I was hoping it would.  The bloods are still not right which will be investigated further soon.

With feeling physically crap all the time and sleeping almost every time I sit still for longer than five minutes life is playing havoc with my mental health. When you feel well you can get yourself outside and moving which without a doubt helps your mind feel better. When you can barely move, every joint is aching, every breath feels physically exhausting and you are constantly feeling like you can’t breathe properly it makes getting out and about much, much harder. I did punch out a post about feeling comfortably numb back in November. Things haven’t really gotten a whole lot better for me in that area.

I pretty much struggle mentally every day some days are better than others. Christmas is as you can imagine exhausting. Let’s face it Christmas is exhausting for anyone regardless of your physical or mental health situation, factor in that every single thing you do is absolutely hard work it was really hard for me. I put on my best smile and did the best I could to smile my way through our two family Christmases. Don’t get me wrong Christmas was absolutely lovely it is just a lot being around people all the time and smiling on the outside when on the inside you just want to die 1000 times over. I was particularly conscious to not whine too much about how I was really going so “I’m good” was a fairly consistent but probably not always truthful answer.

It has also been school holidays here since forever! Ok so one of my kids has been home since the second week in December and the other two a week or so later. The end of the school year is always incredibly busy with end of year assemblies, end of year dance concerts etc. A lovely time of year but very tiring and then there is really not time to recover before we are straight into Christmas and the silly season.

We had a big distance between our two Christmases one on the South Coast of NSW near St Georges Basin and the other in Port Macquarie. We only do the drive to Port every 4th year and it is so lovely to be around hubby’s family for an extended period as we don’t see them as much as we would like due to distance. Every time they are together the cousins are just in heaven which is great. Also while I was in Port I managed to run into a pal that I have never actually met in person but have known for years through the fact that we both have twins! I was also able to get another pal to redo my hair to cover and hide all the white hair that I have coming through. I accept now that really I can no longer  go dark because it looks terrible as it grows out and my hair grows far too quickly to afford the maintenance, so light it is and the white can grow through naturally.

And now we are here. I am a big bundle of anxiety, panic and excitement because in a few weeks we are off on a family holiday.  Hubby has been an excellent money manager and saved like a demon so that we can have two weeks relaxing around the South Pacific on Voyager of the Seas. So if you have done a cruise hit me with all your best cruise suggestions! If you live with anxiety at all you probably have some idea of the all sorts of madness that is rambling around in my head at the moment, trying to think through every eventuality that I know I possibly can’t but of course that is the rational mind speaking not the irrational crazy rolling around and in control inside my head at the moment.

Pretty much that brings me to here. This week has been hot, hot, hot so we have been mostly holed up in the bat cave trying to stay cool. I have managed to get a couple of ocean swims in which has been lovely. The kids and hubby have been practising their snorkelling while I have been swimming very very slow laps of the ocean pool. We are visiting my parents down near Jervis Bay lucky because when Dad’s water tank failed the girls were able to plug the holes for Pop.

Hope everyone is surviving the weather wherever you are. Here are some photos I have taken over the last little while to give you an idea of what I have been up to.

love and hugs 

Cat xoxo