Things have been crazy busy around here. Mr Haze has been away for work which meant that I had to jump in with both feet and do the do. Once upon a time this wouldn’t be a big deal, something that I wouldn’t even have given a second thought to. But this is the first time since it all that I have had to do it all. Luckily I had managed to get my drivers licence back, otherwise things would have been significantly harder to manage. We got through it all and Mr Haze came home safely, which is great.

In between all of this there was a big to do on FaceBook about opinions. Let’s face it we’ve all got them they are a bit like bums! Some people like them being shared and others not so much. It would seem that when you are sharing an opinion many people think it is best to keep them to yourself.

I don’t subscribe to that theory. The thing is I believe that it is healthy to have a variety of opinions, it is important to draw information from many sources. It helps us to grow. I also think that it is ok to disagree with the opinions shared. I believe firmly that when you choose to share that you have a differing opinion, this should always be done respectfully and never involve personal attacks. This is I believe an art form we are loosing.

As social media grows and grows as a major source of communication, I have seen a sharp decline in the respectful nature of communication. I am sure there are studies out there but my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders to find them that would show a direct correlation between the rise of social media and the loss of value of others.

Back in the day (not all that long ago really 20yrs pre-internet and nearly 10yrs pre-facey – and the rest), the only way to abuse people publicly in the way that it is routinely carried out on FaceBook, Twitter, blogs, etc was to either write a letter to the editor or to walk up to someone in the street and scream at them. Neither of these could possibly have the impact that the hate spewed forth on social media can today. One thing that I don’t understand at all is where this all comes from. Are we really all just very, very angry people and have kept it bottled up for years? Could that be true?

I have to believe in my heart that this isn’t the case, otherwise what sort of world do we live in? I know of at least fives cases over the last few days where one person has expressed an opinion either on a blog, for a news outlet, or on social media and have been absolutely crucified for it! Not just oh well that’s your opinion but I disagree, when I say crucify I actually wonder in a few of the cases if death on the cross may have been less painful (not that I know but my history studies tell me that was an incredibly painful death).

When people disagree on social media they go for the jugular, they appear to deliberately say the most hurtful and hateful things publicly for the world to read, then a lynch mob mentality builds.  Once that happens it almost has to run its own course, which is even worse. All that hate spewing forth for anyone to read.

This all leaves me wondering why? Why are we like this? Why is the natural response to disagreeing with someone to be hurtful? Have we really lost that ability to disagree respectfully? Is debating a dying art form? Or is it as simple as the need to belong, like good old peer pressure?  I get the need to belong I truly do but at the expense of destroying others is something I will never understand. Bullying it would seem is far more engrained in us that we would like to admit. Surely when the belonging comes at the expense of others it is time look for another tribe? It is totally ok to be different.


I just hope that the people that I care (and even the ones I don’t) about that have been hurt in this process are doing ok, can take a step back, reassess and are remembering to breathe.

Hope you are all well

Cat xoxo 

3 Replies to “And Breathe …”

  1. Thoughtful post … I think the physical distance that exists within the framework of social media encourages some people to say things they wouldn’t normally say if they were face to face with the person. Sadly one of the downsides of social media …

  2. I agree Cat. Values are missing in so many areas of life these days. I’m not sure that people even know what their values are any more. I work with businesses to help them pinpoint their values. I believe that knowing our core values is so incredibly important because they help to provide a set of guidelines to direct us on our journey. This is a very thought provoking post and one that may inspire me to write my own …

  3. Love your analogy about opinions and bums! Good work Cat! It’s sad that people forget to wear their “respect” hat when putting forward their differing point of view. Love your thoughts on this. Xx

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