Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry is a saying that my dear Pop used to say when it was time to leave his house. He was renowned for deciding that he had, had enough of visitors and this was in the day when men wore hats to go visiting and they would be placed on Nan & Pop’s bed. When it was enough Pop would hand visitors their hats and say here’s your hat, what’s your hurry and you knew that was your cue to leave.

This is really how I feel about 2017, it is time to shut the door on the year. That said there have been a few things throughout the year to celebrate as well. 2017 has been a strange year time wise. It has felt in many ways that time has been flying by at a rate of knots, so fast that sometimes I felt like my head was spinning and then at other times it has felt like a day was lasting a month.

I have had an up and down year in so many ways and I have decided that I can choose how I look back on the year. Will I look back and focus on all the challenges and difficulties or will I look back and focus on all the wins regardless of how small they may have been? I have decided I will acknowledge the challenges and focus on the wins!

At the beginning of 2017 I engaged with a psychiatrist and commenced an intensive year of psychotherapy. This has been eye-opening at times, challenging at others and incredibly hard work the entire time. With my psychiatrist we explored lots of things and I learnt so much about myself. I know that I am stronger than I think I am and that ultimately I cannot change history, I can however, learn from it and ensure that I don’t continue to repeat the same patterns. I think that I place this in my win column because there were many times when I wanted to give up, I didn’t! I kept going and saw it through to the end and for that I am proud of myself.

It wouldn’t be a normal year if I wasn’t facing some kind of physical health issue. If I am honest I am a bit sick of it really, however, I just keep pushing through. I had an anaemia issue that we needed to get to the bottom of, turns out I required major surgery. In June I had a hysterectomy. I say it was major surgery because it is. I completely underestimated just how major it was really. Anyway, it is done and now I am learning to live with the fun of menopause!

I think that the biggest challenge we faced as a family was discovering that our son (also our eldest) had a broken shoulder, that had in fact been broken for probably a year! He is one tough cookie that is for sure. He required major shoulder surgery with a complete reconstruction and bone graft to repair the damage. This happened just before my surgery so this and my surgery probably fall into the challenge column. The wins from these are that we both had our surgery when we needed it and we are fortunate to be able to get that.

I am certain that if I look at the year even more there are lots more challenges, honestly though I really don’t want to focus on them anymore. I choose not to bring those things with me into 2018. I have lots of little wins throughout the year and they are the things that I want to celebrate and bring forward with me.

My writing – I have been writing more and have big plans for 2018. With a dear friend I am collaborating on a book. We have already started work on this. We will have this written and published in 2018. In addition to planning and researching for my book I have continued to write here, these are my most read blogs throughout the year A letter to my husband, I’ve never been to me, and The Slow Suffocation. Another post that I wrote in 2016 was up there in readers and just in case you are after a non-alcoholic drink tonight here are a few suggestions Who needs a drink.  In addition to these there were a couple of other things that I wrote that were shared on other sites as well What is FND was shared on The Mighty very late in 2016 and probably the biggest and most raw and scary piece was writing and sharing my story on Team Women Australia.

Our family – we had a beautiful family holiday at the beginning of the year and were able to share that with my parents as well. It was a beautiful time away and so special to spend it with Mum & Dad. I wrote about it here Let’s go cruising and it was one of my most read stories for the year! In addition to holidays our beautiful girls finished primary school and are so excited about heading to their new high school. They are going to a different school to most of their friends and are really looking forward to it. They have grown up so much I am a little bit in shock they are off to high school, I still remember the day they were born and can’t quite believe it is time for this new and exciting stage of their lives. I am also excited at all the prospects their new school brings for them. Our son my darling son and first born has grown so much as a young man this year. He faced the adversity of his shoulder and found this quite challenging, he managed to put that behind him however, and move on with recovery, rehab and getting back to his sports that he loves so much. In addition to this he is also learning to drive now I am pretty sure the maths on his age is wrong because it was I am sure just yesterday he was a teeny tiny baby born too early. Everyone assures me that actually his age is right and that this is very exciting. He needs to get a few more hours up before I will sit in the supervising driver’s seat. The most wonderful thing about our family is that we face many things some great and some not so great, whatever they are we face them together. This will be so important as we move into 2018 with the girls in high school, our son commencing his final 18mths at school and preparing for the wide open spaces that the world brings.

Personally – I have had a year of huge growth. I went to my first big public function since the before just after my birthday in May to see and finally meet in person some of the most wonderful women I know. The amazing Kylie from Mum Society organised a wonderful event with Sonia from Life, Love & Hiccups, Kate from Uberkate, Beth from BabyMac and gorgeous Kayte from Woogsworld  for a panel morning tea event. It was a wonderful morning made even more special because the wonderful Bron from Maxabella Loves met me out the front and made sure I had someone to walk in with! She will never know how much this meant to me. I went on to attend a few other Mum Society events throughout the year and Kylie is just the most delicious human. If you haven’t been to a Mum Society event and you are in Sydney I urge you to check them out in 2018.

In addition to this in the middle of the year I won tickets to a Team Women Australia Unleashed event. It was a day of amazing sharing and learning! Such strong women and I know that 2018 has big things for all of us. This day lead to doing a short course with Kylee and Gill from TWA called Best Life Design. This has given me such a fantastic platform to leap from into 2018. I honestly can’t thank them enough for all they have given me, though I know that they will celebrate my successes with me as they come.

Lastly I have started to put it out there that I am thinking about working in a paid capacity again. This is as you can imagine is equal parts frightening and exciting. This is the next stage in my recovery. I have applied and missed out on a few jobs, that is ok however because it means that they simply weren’t the right jobs for me. The right one is out there and I will get it when the time is right.

That brings me to here, today, New Year’s Eve 2017. Hubby and I are preparing (well I am writing and should be packing!) to head up to Sydney to the Park Royal Parramatta, to then catch the ferry up the river to The Rocks where we are going to be attending the Sydney Lord Mayor’s NYE Party at Dawes Point. You can expect lots of photos from tonight.

See you all in 2018!

Cath xoxo