Life, The Haze

Unleashed

Yesterday I had the most amazing experience. The background to this opportunity was that I saw on Lucy Perry’s CEO page that she had the opportunity to give away a ticket and plus one to the Team Women Australia Unleashed event. I am a point in my recovery where I am still doing some really hard work for my continued recovery with the help of my mental health team, and honestly I think that work will be probably ongoing quite possibly for life in some form or another. I am also starting to think about the what next. To search for how I move forward out of the cycle and perhaps even use my experience. To find my purpose. 

Clearly I have lots of “things” to fill my time, running a household (sometimes this happens better than others), there are five of us living here and boy do we generate some washing! That alone is enough to be a full time job (though just quietly I am not sure how my children go through the amount of clothing they do!) But I want more. I have in one way or another always wanted more! The difference is now I know I need more and I have so much more to give. I love and adore my family, my husband who has been my greatest supporter on this road, my three children honestly are my lifeblood and make each day better (when they aren’t fighting!) That said they are getting to a point where while I will always be here for them and in these next few years of their lives as teenagers they probably need me more emotionally now than ever before. In the past it has been a physical need and that is draining now it is more of an emotional need that they will need me. To do that I need to be the very best version of me that I can be. 

Then I saw this competition on Lucy’s page to tell her why we should win these tickets. In my usual fashion I didn’t do anything about it straight away, convincing myself that I would come back to it and that there would really be others far more deserving to attend the day. I don’t say that in a self flagellation  way I truly believe that. Anyhow, a few days later another page I follow Mum Society popped up in my feed with a discount code, jogging my memory of Lucy’s competition. I popped over to see if it was still open and I wasn’t sure, but just in case I quickly typed up this reply: 
“Hi Lucy 
I am not even sure if there are still tickets available, but just on the off chance there are … I really need these tickets to Unleash my best life. I have been slowly recovering from a significant mental health breakdown in Feb 2015. This has meant that I can no longer work in the role I was. I am having to rediscover who I am, my place in the world and where to from here. 
I have done a huge amount of really hard work facing many of my demons and I feel ready to start moving on instead of treading water in the same mucky stuff. Unleash My Best Life would be an amazing opportunity for me to learn how to harness what I have within me to be the very best version of me. 
I have plans in my head but am struggling with fear. The fear of everything is holding me back. My plans are not so much just for me but also to show my children especially my daughters that even after a huge setback when you have fucked up royally it is entirely possible to claw your way back to something even better than before. 
I am passionate about lifting and building up other women and am always the best cheerleader for others on the sideline. I am not however, very good at being my own cheerleader. I have actually agonised over even putting this out there on this post because I am sure there are others far more worthy than me. I can’t tell you how much attending this day would mean to me. I would if I could afford it go without pouring my story out to a stranger! 
My dear friend that I would bring along is an amazing woman who is transitioning from doing fly in fly out work in New Zealand to trying to find a way forward that works better for her and in turn her family.
But there you have it this is why I need these tickets. Thanks for taking the time to read xoxo” 
24hrs later I discovered that I had won the tickets!  Honestly, I was very humbled to win the tickets, there were many very deserving winners. I then scrambled to ask my dear friend to join me. Sadly, she had another family commitment so couldn’t. Then I was faced with the dilemma of who to ask and who could come along. It was short notice, I didn’t want anyone to feel like they were my second choice and honestly I am surrounded in one way or another with women who are all amazing already but could do with a a day to focus just on them. My dear friend Amanda agreed I think slightly reluctantly to come along. 
All I can say is I am so glad I hit post on my reply on Lucy’s page and what a day! 
I left home early (on the rd before 7am) and it was bloody freezing! I headed up to the Kirribilli Club from the ‘Gong with Tracey Spicer‘s Good Girl Stripped Bare spotify playlist blaring and the sun was shining. Sunshine, beautiful location and a day just for me what did I have to lose. The last song I heard as I crossed the bridge was Helen Reddy I am Woman, that had to be a sign right?! 
The amazing Kylee was the first person I saw and she gave me a huge hug which really helped set my anxiety at ease! One of the first things we did for the day was to write out why we were there. Honestly the first thing I wrote down was because I had won tickets.  I couldn’t remember what I had written on the pre-event survey, I had no pre-conceived notions of what to expect from a day like this, I also figured that in a room full of strangers everyone else was feeling probably as nervous as I was. 
The day was all about living a Compassionate, Courageous and Confident life. We went through values exercises looking at our core values and thinking about where we are sitting with those. We looked at barriers that we might have holding us back, insights into finding balance in your life now and perhaps even the dream life you want. 
I had prior to yesterday never been to an event like this and honestly really didn’t know what to expect. The room was full of women all with their own amazing stories, there for their own reasons, and hoping to gain different insights for to take back to their own lives. What I can say is that I know that for me I have come away changed. The compassion and empathy shown to every woman in the room was nothing short of inspiring. The honest, raw, emotional sharing was a precious gift and the love given in return made sure that anyone who shared felt truly and totally heard and supported in that moment and every moment throughout the day. I met amazing women all of us have our own stories they are all very different but no more or less. I feel in my heart that some of these women will become wonderful new friends of mine and all of us in our own way will take what we heard and learnt yesterday to unleash our impact on the world. Boy what an impact that will be! 
There are so many takeaways from the day and some of that will be to bunker down for a few days. As an introvert at heart I did A LOT of peopling yesterday and that was very emotional and draining. Luckily, I have lots of notes to reflect on from the day and I can use my no people time this week to sit down and start planning the what next for me. 
If you ever get the opportunity to do any work with Team Women Australia or Kylee Fitzpatrick, Gill McLaren or Jo-Anne Bowyer individually I cannot say to you strongly enough to jump at it with everything you have. I absolutely promise you will not regret it! These women individually are amazing and leaders in their own right, together I can’t wait to see the ripple impact they are going to have!
Thank you so very much Lucy for running the competition and Kylee and Team Women Australia for the day! 
The view from Kirribilli as I was leaving for home …

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